Before You Say, “I do!”

You know you’re in love. You know you want to get married. But…you also know there are a few tiny little relationship problems. Just the other day you realized that when you were fighting the two of you sounded like you belonged on a really bad talk show—the kind where the guests throw chairs and the audience insults everyone. The kind where the lady with the really strange tattoos and the purple spandex micro-mini is the one person who’s tastefully dressed. That scared you. Lots.

Maybe you’re a bit jealous. Maybe he drinks a bit too much. Maybe you get into fights over silly little things. Maybe…

Maybe you should be seeing a couples counselor for premarital counseling.

Between 40% and 50% of the marriages in American end in divorce, but there is no reason for you and your love to become one of the statistics. You can take action now. Why wait to deal with those relationship problems until after you’re married, when they’ve turned into serious, ongoing issues built into the very structure of your relationship?

Right now the two of you have the best of both worlds. You love each other, you know what you want…but you’re both free enough to make changes now, before they become habits. Better still, you’re at a point where you can intentionally build the habits that can carry you and your love through a lifetime.

But why begin before we’re married?

For the same reason you get shots before you get sick, not afterwards. By building good habits together, and by learning how to deal with the inevitable difficulties that affect all couples, you can create a stronger, more adaptable structure for your marriage than if you faked your way through until you ran into serious trouble later on. Premarital counseling is great for coping with relationship problems you have now, but it’s even better for helping you prepare for the problems that will come later. Wouldn’t you rather take preventive action than try to deal with things only after it all got out of hand?

But we don’t have any serious relationship problems!

Great! Your counselor will be thrilled to find you have such good habits to build on. A good doctor would rather teach you how to stay healthy than have to fix you when you’re sick. A good counselor would rather teach a happy couple how to stay happy through premarital counseling than try to turn a sad, unhappy couple back into a happy one long after the marriage has gone sour.

There are so many ways you can improve your life. Work hard. Save money. See your doctor once a year for a checkup. Why treat marriage with less care and planning than you’d treat your health or your finances?

Don’t treat your relationship carelessly. Give yourself the best possible chance for a happy marriage no matter what relationship problems may arise. Premarital counseling can save you grief, and provide you with the basis for years of happiness.

 

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