Why Do Women Look for Painful Relationships?
Women who equate pain with love often find themselves in relationships with men who treat them badly. The strange propensity on the part of otherwise intelligent, functioning women has caught the attention of a number of writers over the years. Some seem to have this predilection for abusive relationships themselves, including Dorothy Parker and Sylvia Plath. Margaret Atwood described it in graphic terms, meant to shock, using the metaphor of “hook and eye” to describe a couple. Only gradually does the reader come to understand she is referring not to the sewing box but to the meat hook and an actual eye. None of the authors mentioned appear able to explain the phenomenon.
Read full article here: Why Do Women Fall for Cruel Men?
Are You Highly Sensitive? Now There’s a Test to Find Out
From time to time, we can all be too sensitive or get overly defensive. However, a new study out of Stony Brook University proves some people just feel things more strongly, and this hyper-sensitivity affects every aspect of their lives. Now there is a self test you can take to find out if you are a highly sensitive person (HSP). This test includes twenty-seven questions such as: Do you startle easily? Do other people’s moods influence you? Are you easily overwhelmed by bright lights and noise? If you answer “yes” to a quarter of the questions on the test, you may be a highly sensitive person.
Read the article and take the test here: Seen At 11: Take The Hyper-Sensitive Person Test
The Truth About Married Sex
Studies show married couples have more sex than single people. While these studies are cited as evidence married people have great sex lives, the data fails to show that changes in sexual relationships over time can cause anxiety. After the novelty of new sex wears off, it’s difficult to keep passion alive. When people worry about not having sex and what that means about their relationship, anxiety can build. Though it’s easy to slip into anxiety, less frequent sex doesn’t mean anything is wrong. The simple answer to less frequent sex is to have more sex. Experts agree the more often a couple has sex, the more they want to. It takes effort to get started, but results are worth it!
Read full article here: Marriage Sex: The Truth About Sex After Marriage
Communication: You-Messages and I-Messages
One method of turning fights into intimate conversations is to turn “you-messages” into “I-messages”. You-messages take complaints and make accusations (i.e. “You’re always late.” Or, “You’re selfish.”). Blame and accusations can inflame an argument. I-messages communicate complaints in a more constructive way (“When you come home late, I feel hurt.” Or, “When you spend so much money, I feel scared.”). I-messages focus on the result of an action, rather than apportioning blame. These messages are contagious, too. People who receive I-messages will generally respond with one. The therapist’s role in a couple’s conversations is to translate you-messages into true I-messages, in order to highlight the speaker’s wishes, doubts, and fears to create a greater understanding.
Read full article here: Translating You-Messages Into I-Messages
Do Female Relationships Shape Society?
A study of 1.95 billion cell phone calls and 489 million texts may reveal how people follow different relationship patterns in life. Female friendships are key to finding mates and supporting future generations. During a woman’s childbearing years, her best friend (number she dials most) is usually someone of the opposite sex. However, around age 50, the numbers most dialed were other women, usually a generation younger. The researchers interpret this as a mother-daughter relationship. The study concludes that biology shapes female behavior, and this affects men. The study does have skeptics. The patterns detected may be attributed to other factors like co-workers who communicate frequently, or older women who have lost a romantic partner.
Read full article here: Cell Phone Study Suggests Female Relationships Shape Society
