Dr Brian Gersho

Having Friends May Improve Health, Happiness, and Even Life Expectancy

News — Sun, 20 May 2012 00:30:00 +0000

Studies show allowing friendships to fade away in stressful times is harmful to mental, emotional, and physical health. During turbulent times, stress hormones spike. Being with a friend reduces the levels of these negative hormones. Friends can also help increase life span. Psychologists estimate the chance of dying over a ten year period increases for people who live socially isolated lives compared with people who have a strong support network. The socially isolated tend to have more difficulty fighting off infections, have higher rates of cancer, heart disease, strokes, and heart attacks. Engaging in a weekly activity or club, volunteering, and getting out with a pet dog are all ways to meet new friends.

Read full article here: Friends Nourish the Body and Soul

Help With Handling Stress for Women

News — Sat, 19 May 2012 00:01:00 +0000

We women expect perfection in everything we do, but work and family stressors are difficult to manage. Three common sayings can help relieve stress. First, don’t be so hard on yourself. We set incredibly high standards and feel stressed if we fall short. Objectively, you know no one is perfect, so be nice to yourself. Next, don’t tell yourself you will be happy only when circumstances change. Decide to be happy in your current situation; happiness is found only in the present. Finally, learn to adjust. If you feel overwhelmed, make changes to your plans, prioritize your activities, and eliminate unnecessary demands. Apply these three tips, and your stress will be much easier to manage.

Read full article here: Women and Stress Be Kind to Yourself

Four Common Mistakes in Communicating With Others

News — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:05:00 +0000

Miscommunication can be frustrating, but learning to recognize these four common mistakes can help. 1. Using “you” language is the verbal equivalent of pointing your finger. Phrases such as “you should…” and “you have to…” sound like blame or coercion. 2. Avoid “universal” words such as “always,” “never,” or “every time” which take the current issue and turn it into a blanket condemnation. 3. Be careful never to attack the person, but rather to call attention to the behavior. 4. Finally, don’t invalidate the other person’s feelings. Language that says the other person’s feelings do not affect you or are of no consequence can be interpreted to mean he or she is not important to you.

Read full article here: Are You a Poor Communicator? Stop the Damage and Improve Relationships

Does Our Society Foster Too Much Independence in Children?

News — Wed, 16 May 2012 02:09:00 +0000

Parents want the best for their children. Years of nurturing, care, and life lessons can create responsible, self-sufficient, and independent adults. Once children are grown, they may move away, focus on a career and family of their own, and the strong ties between parent and child can loosen. However, interdependence in family relationships is also important. Because people are living longer than ever before, adult children have the opportunity to build a special relationship with their parents unlike that of their childhoods. Then as parents age, the children become the caretakers. They may not be the ones to nurse parents, but adult children typically insure that parents receive needed care.

Read full article here: What to Do With Your Mother Once You’re a Grown-Up

Why It Is Important to See the Good In Others

News — Sat, 12 May 2012 04:04:00 +0000

It’s easy to focus on other people’s bad qualities. However, when we do, we find ourselves living in a realm of negativity in which it’s natural to feel insecure and unsupported. Taking time to see the good in others is vital for us to feeling happier, more loving, and confident. There are five pieces to this process. Take time to search for good qualities in others. Look for positive intentions. Acknowledge the abilities of others. Find positive character traits in others. And don’t forget to recognize the good in yourself. It’s there, or you couldn’t recognize it in others. Taking time to live this process each day can transform your personal world.

Read full article here: See the Good In Others

Why Do Women Look for Painful Relationships?

News — Fri, 11 May 2012 03:59:00 +0000

Women who equate pain with love often find themselves in relationships with men who treat them badly. The strange propensity on the part of otherwise intelligent, functioning women has caught the attention of a number of writers over the years. Some seem to have this predilection for abusive relationships themselves, including Dorothy Parker and Sylvia Plath. Margaret Atwood described it in graphic terms, meant to shock, using the metaphor of “hook and eye” to describe a couple. Only gradually does the reader come to understand she is referring not to the sewing box but to the meat hook and an actual eye. None of the authors mentioned appear able to explain the phenomenon.

Read full article here: Why Do Women Fall for Cruel Men?

Are You Highly Sensitive? Now There’s a Test to Find Out

News — Wed, 09 May 2012 16:16:00 +0000

From time to time, we can all be too sensitive or get overly defensive. However, a new study out of Stony Brook University proves some people just feel things more strongly, and this hyper-sensitivity affects every aspect of their lives. Now there is a self test you can take to find out if you are a highly sensitive person (HSP). This test includes twenty-seven questions such as: Do you startle easily? Do other people’s moods influence you? Are you easily overwhelmed by bright lights and noise? If you answer “yes” to a quarter of the questions on the test, you may be a highly sensitive person.

Read the article and take the test here: Seen At 11: Take The Hyper-Sensitive Person Test

The Truth About Married Sex

News — Mon, 07 May 2012 16:01:00 +0000

Studies show married couples have more sex than single people. While these studies are cited as evidence married people have great sex lives, the data fails to show that changes in sexual relationships over time can cause anxiety. After the novelty of new sex wears off, it’s difficult to keep passion alive. When people worry about not having sex and what that means about their relationship, anxiety can build. Though it’s easy to slip into anxiety, less frequent sex doesn’t mean anything is wrong. The simple answer to less frequent sex is to have more sex. Experts agree the more often a couple has sex, the more they want to. It takes effort to get started, but results are worth it!

Read full article here: Marriage Sex: The Truth About Sex After Marriage

Communication: You-Messages and I-Messages

News — Thu, 03 May 2012 22:59:00 +0000

One method of turning fights into intimate conversations is to turn “you-messages” into “I-messages”. You-messages take complaints and make accusations (i.e. “You’re always late.” Or, “You’re selfish.”). Blame and accusations can inflame an argument. I-messages communicate complaints in a more constructive way (“When you come home late, I feel hurt.” Or, “When you spend so much money, I feel scared.”). I-messages focus on the result of an action, rather than apportioning blame. These messages are contagious, too. People who receive I-messages will generally respond with one. The therapist’s role in a couple’s conversations is to translate you-messages into true I-messages, in order to highlight the speaker’s wishes, doubts, and fears to create a greater understanding.

Read full article here: Translating You-Messages Into I-Messages

Do Female Relationships Shape Society?

News — Wed, 02 May 2012 21:21:00 +0000

A study of 1.95 billion cell phone calls and 489 million texts may reveal how people follow different relationship patterns in life. Female friendships are key to finding mates and supporting future generations. During a woman’s childbearing years, her best friend (number she dials most) is usually someone of the opposite sex. However, around age 50, the numbers most dialed were other women, usually a generation younger. The researchers interpret this as a mother-daughter relationship. The study concludes that biology shapes female behavior, and this affects men. The study does have skeptics. The patterns detected may be attributed to other factors like co-workers who communicate frequently, or older women who have lost a romantic partner.

Read full article here: Cell Phone Study Suggests Female Relationships Shape Society