To Rescue A Failing Relationship!
The Blues in the Night…
Mary lay in bed, tension keeping her from sleep, worrying about how to save a relationship that seemed to have failed completely. It had been another bad day. No matter what she did or said around Jeff, it was wrong…and the truth was she was just as unhappy with everything he said or did. Money was tight, they never seemed to have any fun anymore, and the good days seemed so far in the past she could barely remember them. Sometimes she wondered if they had made a mistake choosing each other. Sometimes, on nights like this, listening to Jeff breathe, she wondered if the only good thing left for them to do was to choose divorce, this time.
Not all in her head.
Mary’s worries aren’t just night fears. According to statistical evidence between 30% and 50% of current marriages are expected to end in divorce…and as for trial marriages and living together, the statistics are well above the 50% point. With odds like that Mary’s worries are just good sense. Relationship problems can be resolved, but far more often they snowball, leading to tragic endings.
How can you learn how to save a relationship? How do you even know what is important and what isn’t? After all, isn’t it easier to just let things go and not rock the boat?
No. Relationship problems may pass or not. Some may be minor, but many are not. Problems can include budget and other financial issues, sexual relations, trust, communication, finding shared goals. But if you find yourself unhappy enough to ask how important your relationship problems are then your problems are serious enough to treat as having importance. Indeed, for many people the first step in learning how to save a relationship is learning how to look honestly at those fears and moments of discontent, and work out which ones really matter. Refusing to look and learn only increases the sense that what you care about doesn’t matter in your relationship–and that is a big relationship problem!
Learning to understand the truth of relationships.
But, you may ask, aren’t most relationship problems temporary?
Sometimes. However, problems that are simply ignored often lead to resentment from one or both partners which can rather quickly erode any healthy connection in relatioships. If in doubt is always healthier to try to resolve relationship problems.
What can I do?
The first thing is to find good advice and counsel. A professional you trust, with a clear understanding of how relationships work, with tried and tested methods for repairing what can be repaired and recognizing what can’t be repaired and what you should do about it.
But doesn’t that cost a lot of money?
This depends on many factors. For a couple who is motivated to make their relationship work the expense involved is not given a 2nd thought. Other motivated couples can’t afford to ignore their relationship problems and get help to learn how to save a relationhip. Of course there are some professionals offering sliding fees or training clinics that provide inexpensive support from therapists in training.
The dawn of hope.
Mary woke the next morning knowing she had to do something, and do it now. The first thing she did was ask a trusted friend who had been in similar trouble if she could recommend a good counselor. The first place she went didn’t work well, but they referred her to a great clinic just blocks from her house, with men and women facing similar problems. Soon she understood enough about what mattered to her to bring the program up with Jeff. They began working together, instead of being unhappy separately. They aren’t finished yet, but they have real hope.
Don’t tell yourself there’s no hope, that it isn’t important, that it will all blow over. Take that first step and learn how to deal with the relationship problems that keep you awake at night and ruin your day. Act now for a brighter tomorrow.