Coming to Grips with Marriage: “This is It??”

Many couples enter couples therapy struggling with the complaint that married life just isn’t what they expected. This can often be a product of fantasies about marriage, which can make even a good relationship seem disappointing when it doesn’t match up. As an example, the author writes about one couple client who entered couples therapy two years after being married, after a year of being engaged, two and a half years of living together before marriage, and three years of dating before marriage. The wife’s primary complaint was that nothing changed after the marriage, not even their living situation, and so nothing about being married seemed special.


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