Sometimes harmless-sounding words can be major sources of emotional turmoil. Help yourself declutter by changing your vocabulary. The word but is very negative. It negates anything that comes before or after it. Instead, use and. It is much more positive. Not is another negative word. Instead of saying what you do not want or feel, try to focus on what you do want and feel. Stay away from “you” statements. Presuming to know what another person thinks, believes, or feels is very provocative and can start arguments. The word should takes away the option of choice, and using “makes me feel” in a sentence creates a sense of victimhood.
Read full article here: Clear Needless Emotional Clutter From Your Relationships