In today’s tech age, we have dozens of dating apps to help us find a potential partner or set up a sexual encounter. Many of these apps boast that they have found the perfect formula for determining mutual attraction. However, a new study says that this may not be true. In fact, researchers found that it is not possible to predict which two individuals will be attracted to each other.
Specific vs. General Desirability
The study involved a speed dating scenario where the potential daters completed a questionnaire about their dates. The researchers then used computer algorithms to predict romantic interest in others before they had a chance to meet. They learned that it is impossible to predict whether two individuals will have a desire for one another. However, what they did find is that it is possible to predict the general desirability of individuals. They were able to predict which qualities others would find of interest in a potential partner, such as:
- Physical appearance
- Personality
- Lifestyle
- Character
Yet, a computer algorithm can’t determine whether two specific people will find each other desirable. Instead, it can only make an educated guess about whether someone will find a large grouping of people who share similar traits desirable.
The Magic Formula
In the world of technology, people continue to search for a magic formula for mutual attraction. However, the mystery of love and attraction cannot be scientifically determined, and most likely never will be.
Science is good at studying behavior and making predictions based on observations. Yet, it can’t predict the love and affection (or lack thereof) two people will have for each other before they have even had a chance to meet. Quite simply, there are too many variables to make this remotely possible. Even the most powerful supercomputers in the world cannot make such an accurate prediction.
The Benefits of One-on-One Human Interaction
While dating apps have advantages and disadvantages, there’s no substitute for meeting face-to-face. Only through the art of human interaction can two people determine whether or not they are a good fit. This decision is not based on the algorithm of a computer, but only through the nuanced interactions between two people, experienced through direct contact. For example:
- Eye contact
- Facial expressions
- Voice tone and quality
- Physical touch (handholding, etc.)
According to Paul W. Eastwick, one of the study’s authors, “The bottom line is relationship science still has a long way to go to decipher romantic attraction and what makes two particular people click.” This means that for all the hype that dating apps and websites make about matching compatibilities, the technology still has a long way to go.
Tips for Deciding if Others are “Right” for You
If you are using apps to find a potential partner, keeps these tips in mind:
- Don’t let the online interaction go on very long before meeting. There is no substitute for “real world” one-on-one interactions.
- If you are unsure whether this person is right for you, go with your gut feeling instead of getting hung up on the science.
- Be attentive to both your own and your date’s verbal and nonverbal communication. Do you both “click?”
If you are struggling with finding a relationship or being single, consider attending individual counseling to learn more about your situation.
The process of finding a potential partner has certainly been aided by 21st-century technology. Dating apps make it easier for people to find someone who piques their interest. However, the real work of meeting someone new and determining if they are the right fit still comes down to one-on-one, in-person interactions. Only then will you truly know if you have found that right someone to embark on a relationship with.