Let’s face it, after the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, it can be challenging to maintain the spark that helped establish interest in the first place. The honeymoon phase is often referred to as a state of limerence. While in this limerence state, as we are falling in love with our partners and experiencing this infatuation “high,” there is an excess of neurochemicals being released in our brains.
This falling in love “high” is very hard to compete with! In fact, there are some people who jump from relationship to relationship in order to maintain the neurochemical high that exists early on in relationships. It can actually be considered a type of love addiction. To thrive in your relationship after the initial passion fades, it is essential to maintain a strong connection with your partner.
Here are 6 research-validated ways to stay connected with your partner in a long-term relationship:
1. Consistent Closeness
One way romantic partners can stay better connected is through consistent closeness. This includes both physical and emotional closeness. However, physical contact is often assumed to mean just sex. However, physical affection is arguably just as important. Hugging, holding hands, and light massage are all important examples of physical affection. In fact, the simple act of holding hands lights up the brain with the release of oxytocin, a hormone responsible for that “loving feeling.”
2. Healthy Communication
In order to remain emotionally connected to one another, couples need to communicate and understand one another’s perspective. If not, they will likely drift apart. Make time every day to talk to your partner and truly listen to one another. Routinely taking a walk together is a terrific practice and provides a good opportunity for you to establish a deeper connection.
3. Never Stop Dating
Going on regular date nights makes a big difference for any relationship. However, what’s even better is continuing to have novel and fun experiences together. This makes a huge difference because you are able to reconnect with some of those same feelings that existed at the beginning of your relationship. Also, research indicates that engaging in new experiences together improves your sex life!
4. Laugh Together!
Laughing together may seem obvious. However, laughter not only keeps the spark alive in your relationship but contributes to its longevity. That’s because when you laugh together you are having fun and feeling relaxed with your partner. It’s those moments that really do help bond you to your partner. In fact, research suggests that those who laugh together are actually less likely to divorce.
5. Kindness and Generosity
Despite being fairly obvious, it should still be mentioned that any successful relationship requires kindness and generosity. Write kind notes, volunteer to do a task when your partner is exhausted, or just offer a hug. Simple acts of kindness and generosity help build trust, appreciation, and a stronger connection.
6. Shared Vision
When couples are able to share the same long-term goals they can start to work towards them together. This helps build a spirit of “we’re both in this together.” Additionally, beyond shared goals as a couple, individual goals are important. Supporting each other’s individual goals and dreams goes a long way towards increasing relationship satisfaction.
Go ahead and try out the above suggestions if you haven’t been doing so already. Ultimately, these are simple things that you and your partner can incorporate into your relationship routinely. In the long run, they can help you maintain an important level of connection in your relationship.
While these ideas may not replicate the intensity of feelings that you had for one another when you started dating, this level of connection makes a huge difference in the quality of your relationship. However, if after attempting to implement these ideas you are still having trouble or feel stuck, don’t hesitate to attend couples counseling.